The Great Debate: Does Pineapple Belong on Pizza? (And Other Food Dilemmas)

 

Right, we’re settling this once and for all.

Since time began, there’s been one great debate that has divided nations, destroyed friendships, sparked outrage across countries, and sickened and delighted tastebuds around the world. The whole planet is being torn apart, and it’s all thanks to one little pizza topping.

Pineapple.

This little yellow so-and-so is harmless on its own, but put it on a pizza and you’re bound to spark outrage. Some swear by it, whilst some are disgusted by even the thought of it. But this debate has gone on long enough! Before it destroys humanity as we know it, we are going to list all the reasons for and against this fruity topping, and by the end of it, we will all know whether pineapple does or doesn’t belong on pizza.

For

  • Pineapples are an amazing source of Vitamin C
  • Pineapple contains a compound called bromelain, which is thought to aid digestion
  • Full of fibre and all sorts of good stuff
  • Some people just like the taste of it – let them keep their sweet strangeness to themselves, as long as they’re not hurting anybody else’s tastebuds in the process
  • One more step towards your five-a-day #heathlyAF
  • The exotic taste can very briefly make you feel as though you’re in a tropic paradise
  • Somebody wrote an entire book purely about why pineapple does belong on pizza, and by allowing pineapple to stay on pizza, we won’t make him feel like he’s completely wasted his life
  • Pineapple on pizza REALLY winds some people up, and that always brings entertaining results
  • The Canadian Prime Minister is a fan (yeah…I was running a little low on ‘for’ reasons)
  • Pineapple isn’t just available with ham – most places offer it with veggies, chicken and as a part of sweet and spicy combos

 

Against

  • The Oxford English Dictionary defines pizza as: “A dish of Italian origin, consisting of a flat round base of dough baked with a topping of tomatoes and cheese, typically with added meat, fish, or vegetables.” Pineapple is neither a meat, fish or vegetable, and I ain’t going to argue against smart dictionary people.
  • The point of pizza is that it is purposely designed to be shared – what’s the point in slapping such a controversial topping on it?! Put the pineapple away and let’s all be pals.
  • Fair enough pineapple is a pretty healthy topping, but if you are going to treat yourself and have pizza anyway, why not be as fat as you possibly can?
  • Normally if you’re sharing a pizza and one of you doesn’t like a specfic topping, you just take it off and eat what’s left. However, pineapple loves to leave it sickly taste behind (because it’s evil like that) so even without a single trace of yellow left, as soon as that pizza hits your mouth, you can tell immediately that it has been poisoned by pineapple.
  • Gordon Ramsey firmly stated once, “Pineapple does not go on top of pizza” – he’s a professional chef, he knows what he’s talking about, dare to disagree with him and he’ll put two slices of bread on your face and he’ll call you an idiot sandwich.
  • The ‘Hawaiian’ pizza was actually invented by a Canadian – can you really live with yourself eating a lie? (Why would you do this to us Canada? What did we ever do to you?)
  • The President of Iceland wants to ban pineapple of pizza – is that yellow sweetness really worth being behind bars for?
  • You can make wine out of pineapples – what are you doing putting wine on pizza?!
  • Pineapples are technically berries – why not just chuck a few strawberries and blueberries on there as well while you’re at it?
  • Brexit will probably end up making the spiky, yellow fruit and the humble Hawaiian more expensive. Pineapple on a pizza? In this economy?
  • Spongebob lives in one
  • Mushroom goes with ham WAY better than pineapple does
  • Pineapple is a wet fruit, and nobody likes a soggy crust.
  • If we banned it completely, we’d never have to have this debate again and friendships wouldn’t be destroyed in the middle of Pizza Hut
  • It’s full of sugar – if you’re chowing down on a good bit of pizza pie, you’ve already got enough beautiful carby goodness going down your gullet for your body to handle
  • If you’re ordering pizzas to share, ordering anything with pineapple on is bound to create controversial, tension and anger (I once got punched in the face for ordering a pizza with the wrong topping on, true story).

 

Whatever side of the battle you’re on (the right side or the wrong side), I think we can all agree that this is an argument that will never get settled. Pineapple pizzas will continue to delight and infuriate for generations to come.

Are you for or against pineapple on pizza? Let us know in a comment below.

 

Of course, pineapple on pizza isn’t the only great food debate out there. We had a discussion around the office to try and sort these out once and for all.

  • Are Hot Dogs Classed as a Sandwich? – At first we thought no, it’s just a hot dog, but then again, it is between two buns, and if it isn’t a sandwich, what is it? Even though we’re reluctant to do so, we’ve got to say that hot dogs are a type of sandwich.

 

  • In What Order Should You Make a Cup of Tea? – One to infuriate our British readers now. No question, it’s a clean sweep – tea bag, then water, brew for a minute or so, milk, and then sugar. Don’t even try to argue with us.

 

  • Does Tomato Sauce Belong in the Fridge or in the Cupboard? – Inconclusive. Some people love to keep it cold to mix with the heat of their food, some just want it room temperature so as to not cool down their meal. Maybe we should all just have our own personal sauce bottles and keep them wherever the hell we want – no judgements on this one.

 

  • Should You Eat Mac n’ Cheese with a Fork or a Spoon? – Fork. Done.

 

  • Sauce all Over Your Food or Sauce on the Side for Dipping? – Unanimous win for sauce on the side. Sauce all over is way too risky and inconsistent. Sauce on the side let’s you have the desire right amount of condiment with every bite. Sauce on the side let’s us be in control every step of the way. Sauce on the side is the way to go.

 

  • Is a Jaffa Cake a Biscuit or a Cake? – To answer this, just ask yourself a simple question – if you asked for some cake, and you got brought a tray of Jaffa Cakes, how annoyed would you be? Exactly. It’s a biscuit.

 

  • What do you call a bread bun? – Bap. Buns. Bin Lids. Cobs. Stotties. Barms. Rolls. Bread-Cake. Oggie. Batch. Ask this question in any part of Britain and you’re bound to get a different yet still infuriating answer.

Are there any other food debates that grind your gears? Or do you just wanna give your opinion one of the above? Drop us a comment below.

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